[The KenniesPlex Cinema]

The Internet Movie Database
is the best movie site by a long shot.

If you're looking for a review and IMDB doesn't have it,
try the Movie Review Query Engine.
Links to over 25,000 titles!

The Movie Sounds Page
has tons of movie sound clips you can listen to and
download. Here's one from The Usual Suspects.

Speaking of movie sounds,
George Lucas's Skywalker Sound site will take you through
The Making of a Movie Soundtrack

If visual effects are more your speed,
check out VFXHQ

The Oracle of Bacon at Virginia
Time Magazine picked this as one of the ten best Web sites
of 1996. And they were right on the money. No explanation could
really do it justice. Try it, you'll love it. Has the Mayor
ever misled you before?

The All-Movie Guide will let you search by Film Title,
Artist, Key Word, Country, Genre, even the Mood you're in.

If Mr. Cranky doesn't turn your crank, maybe

will turn out to be more your speed.

The Movie Cliches List
Ah, Mr. Bond, welcome, come in. Let me
show you my entire evil plan and then put you
in a death machine that doesn't work.

Read any good movies lately?
Take a flip through Drew's Script-O-Rama
or the Movie Scripts Home Page.

Tons of movie stuff. Current reviews, links
soundtracks, hard-to-find videos for sale & lots more.

Atom Films
has tons of short films online.
You can also see all of Joe Cartoon's
(Frog in a Blender) films there.

The Movie Poster Warehouse

Roger Ebert
Current movie reviews, one-minute movie reviews and a
searchable database of Ebert reviews from 1985 to the present.

Give CineMachine the title of a movie and it'll
go out and find more reviews than you can shake your...
Well, it'll find a lot of reviews.


Famous film actor Michael Caine's real name is Maurice Joseph Micklewhite. He changed his name to Michael Scott early in his career acting in small provincial theatres in England. He changed his name again after moving to London. "I was on the phone with my agent and he told me there was another actor with the same name and I needed a new name, right then, so I looked around -- I was in a phone booth in Leicester Square -- and across the street I saw this movie marquee and The Caine Mutiny was playing, so I said Caine, make it Michael Caine."


Actual English subtitles used in Chinese films.

I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

Gun wounds again?

Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.

Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!

Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.

Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.

You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice

I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!

You daring lousy guy.

Beat him out of recognizable shape!

I have been scared shitless too much lately.

I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!

Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?

How can you use my intestines as a gift?

This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am
sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat.

Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short
rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination.

Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.

A few of The Mayor's
favourite movie titles:

Sh! The Octopus

Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who
Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies

Naked Super Witches of the Rio Amore

Cootie Garages

Billy The Kid vs. Dracula

Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter

I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle

Rat Fink A Boo Boo

Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the

Bride of the Return of the Terror: The Revenge of
the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant,
Hellbound, Flesh-Eating, Subhumanoid
Living Dead, Part 2

Satan's Cheerleaders

Look Back in Angora

Samurai Vampire Bikers from Hell

When Women Played Ding Dong

Rabid Grannies

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama

Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers

Werewolves on Wheels

Zadar! Cow from Hell

Rock and Roll Wrestling Women vs. The Aztec Mummy

Lunatic Frog Women

Sugar Hill and her Zombie Hit Men

Mutant on the Bounty

Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam

War is Menstrual Envy

Pucker Up and Bark Like a Dog

Cat in the Brain

The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan's Island

Vampyros Lesbos

Rock and the Money-Hungry Party Girls

Petey Wheatstraw, The Devil's Son-in-law

Saga of the Viking Women and their Voyage
to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent

Striptease Baby Dolls from Cleveland Meet the Unkillables

What Would You Say to Some Spinach?
(aka A Nice Plate of Spinach)

Frankenstein's Great-Aunt Tillie

Dracula's Dog

Never Torture a Duckling

A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell

Yodeling Makes Your Lederhosen Itch

Teenage Catgirls in Heat

Nymphoid Barbarians in Dinosaur Hell

The Mayor's favourite theater marquee:

Boa War is Mad

This item was stolen from John Tebbutt's Video Vulture column in Calgary's Fast Forward magazine. It is a description of a movie called Boa War is Mad which was dubbed into Chinese and then back into English.

Boa War is Mad: Good grief, where to start with this one? It's got one of the most nonsensical titles I've ever come across, and the DVD sleeve is a massive collision of random clip art. The illustration includes the menacing eyes from the Cape Fear (1991) poster, a big snake and two armoured goblins glaring at one another over the hilt of an upside-down, two-handed sword. Pop open the box, and you'll find that the disc bears a completely different full-colour illustration, consisting of tne snake from Anaconda (1997) and close-ups of Uma Thurman and Alicia Silverstone wearing their Poison Ivy and Batgirl masks from Batman and Robin (1997). Both images proudly bear the Boa War is Mad title, which you've probably guessed isn't the real title of anything, anywhere. Wait, it gets better. According to the synopsis on the back of the box, Boa War is Mad is about a talented young singer struggling to
make it big in New York City. That's right, the synopsis is taken from the "Grammy Award wineer" Mariah Carey vehicle, Glitter (2001)! Could there possibly be anything else on the box to further obfuscate the film's actual identity? Well, yes. The credits are from Scarface (1983), the cast of Halloween III (1982) is credited and the cover blurb reads "The war Happenning In the Space Mangky Humanning". Wow. This movie could be anything. What it is (sorry to spoil the mystery) is a silly little alien conspiracy flick entitled Interceptor
Force (a.k.a, Interceptors) (1999) starring French kickboxer Olivier Gruner. In the first few seconds of the film, a nuclear explosion obliterates Yellowknife, Canada. (This event occurs in a 1993 flashback, and it explains why there is no place called Yellowknife anymore. Hey, wait a minute) Then Gruner and his inept team of alien experts investigate a downed spaceship in Mexico and get stalked by a space monster. Government agent Brad Dourif hangs around in a control room, waiting to nuke the area if they fail. Meanwhile, Ernie Hudson (you know, the black Ghostbuster) stares at the big air-force map and looks concerned. So, what aren't there any of in this film about snakes, goblins, supervillains and Mariah Carey? Snakes, goblins, supervillains and Mariah Carey, that's what.